


Gooey Falls Over a Waterfall and Dies While Eating Superspicy Curry.txt

by NullBubby



Series: Gooey Dies.zip [2]
Category: Kirby (Video Games)
Genre: Attempted Napping, Eating, gooey friccin dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24146359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NullBubby/pseuds/NullBubby
Summary: Gooey dies. Again.
Series: Gooey Dies.zip [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743142
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Gooey Falls Over a Waterfall and Dies While Eating Superspicy Curry.txt

Waves thrashed against the rocks, trees, grass, everything lining the river’s edge. Drops of water splashed against it all, managing to accomplish maybe a pebble being knocked loose, at most. Further down was a slightly more calm environment, where peace dawned upon the water, resting it for the next session of ravaging droplets—rocks adding to the imminent danger for any insane traveler that dared travel down, rather than simply walk along the shoreline.

Speaking of travelers, there did happen to be one within the confines of whatever rage the water decided to threaten him with, though frankly, he just didn’t care. A drop or two, he thought—in reality closer to a hundred or so—splashed upon his squishy body each time his canoe lurched, struggling to remain afloat against the already harsh conditions brought by the rocks jutting out from underneath. Even when raining upon his face, he didn’t mind. Just another day in what wonderful world lay around, another day to eat, explore, jump, eat...

Hmm. Maybe it would’ve been a better idea to forget the attire for the trip. It just  _ might _ get completely soaked by the time the trip was over, but there’s no phrase like “dress for the occasion”. Or was it “safety first”? Wait, did an explorer’s hat provide any real safety? Well, those people in those moving pictures wore them all the time, and they managed fine, so of course it had to.

All those words were too much for his ‘stunningly flawless’ mind to handle. They meant something, of course, but that was nowhere near as important as what to eat upon finishing up with this trip. He had no idea where he was even going anymore, really. That boat was just laying there, idle at the dock, and no one happend to be using it. And where else could it lead besides the magical realm of infinite dessert? All of those... boat things had to, of course. There was this one that spoke of it—a grape with a funny hat, he could recall. There were no specifications of how to reach it, but water was for drinking, and drinking was pretty close to eating—the relation was clear.

None of that stopped him from bringing along a snack, though. Anything at all would do, be it some of those colored spheres, or possibly apples. Unfortunately, the red fruit wasn’t exactly the first thing to be found, so what was already in the boat had to be made do with. It was a plate, something like meat resting atop it. Whoever had left it was generous enough to leave a spoon and another spoon, spikes instead of a cup at the end, along with it. Perhaps they could be the appetizer before the main dish.

Once more, the boat was knocked to the side, almost leaving him behind as he hovered just above it for a split second. The river must have really not liked him for it to keep attempting to ruin his meal. Not nice at all. How would it feel if he decided to prevent it from eating, and completely soaked its meal? Yeah, exactly. But that wouldn’t be very nice, so he kept to himself and let the meal just before him get drenched.

Another wave splashed aboard, filling the deck with an even higher layer of water. It did manage to soak him even further, but the food was relatively untouched by it, and that was just about all he cared for. First up was the decision whether to eat the spoon or the pointy spoon first. Tough choice. On one hand, the cup portion had no holes in it, which could be considered a good or a bad thing, depending on how it tasted overall, though the hollowed inside of the pointed one could add a bit more... texture. Maybe flavor. Actually, no time to think about it, he was getting hungry.

A quick rope of his tongue was all it took to completely swallow the fork whole—not a trace of difficulty in doing so, thankfully. Not bad, certainly. A little on the plain side, though, so it probably wouldn’t be something he’d come back to any time soon. Or really at all, for that matter.

Next up was the end of the appetizer session—the very similar looking spoon. A repeat of the already performed process later and it was down his mouth, never to be seen again down the bottomless vortex known as his stomach. Hmm... just about the same as the other utensil. Well, that was alright. Whoever had packed these for him had to have had no idea what his tastes were, and that was alright. It wasn’t like he specifically asked anyone to prepare this journey for him, and the fact that someone had anyway was enough for him. Especially considering the payoff at his destination.

For the next good portion of the ride, all would be calm. Everything was relatively still, clear, and quiet. Not even the surrounding woods decided to interrupt his perfect eating session, which was quite alright with him. More to himself, after all. Time to dig into the main dish.

How exactly he’d eat it would probably remain a mystery, to most. The utensils were gone, and all he had to work with was a dangly tongue, so what could be done? It’s not like he would... yes, actually, yes he would. Down his mouth in an instant was the entire meal, dish included, not even a moment given to let it see the world one last time before being devoured. Yum.

Alright, time to judge. First and foremost, it tasted awful. Completely horrible. Perhaps the absolute worst thing he’d ever tasted in his entire life, and he’d tasted a lot—from tomatoes, to bricks. Awfully hot, too, which he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around. How could it be hot if it was getting splashed by the cold water? Maybe the water was spicy, and just wanted to lend in a helping hand to remedy the horror he would’ve faced had it not spiced it up. At least the platform-thingy holding it was quite good, he’d probably have to find another one of those when he could.

So all of that was overall, a complete waste of time. There were some good parts to the meal, yes, but he could’ve certainly done without it. Even some apples would’ve done much better than the feast he just demolished within moments, and those could be found just about everywhere. And what was he left with for wolfing it all down anyway? A spicy, spicy mouth. Very hot. But that was fine, he’d faced hotter. He’d even set his whole body on fire that one adventure... actually, make that two adventures. But that was besides the point—now there was nothing left for him to do other than sit down. In all truthfulness, though, he was fine with that. Relaxing had to have been his second favorite thing to do besides eating.

Take a nap, then, take a nap. A short bounce was all it took to travel from one end of the boat to the other, and in the very next moment, his body was squished down, eyes half-closed, ready to get to sleep. He did quite well at drowning out all the sounds around him, actually, which just so happened to be an extremely useful skill. That’s how he managed to “completely avoid just about every crisis on this planet”, as a couple put it. That didn’t mean a thing, but “complete” was a good word, so he had to have been lucky to be receiving all those compliments.

Maybe, if that loud rushing noise up ahead could just, maybe disappear for a moment, that would be dandy. He could do with it, of course, but it’d be made a whole lot easier if it left.

It stuck. Okay, maybe he had to be more direct with his wishes, and hopefully the sound would comply.

Go away.

...

It stuck.

Okay, how about once more, and this time, more strictly. Hopefully it’d decide to listen this time.

Go away, please.

...

Oh, it’s gone. That was a real pleasure. Time to take a nap, then, and—oh, now the boat decided to leave. Fine. He could just rest in the air, then. Or maybe he  _ could _ , if the wind decided to allow him to. It was so, so noisy. So noisy, in fact, that it was impossible to simply ignore it, which was saying something. Alright, it looked like things really didn’t want to go his way, and he’d need to take physical action to take his rest.

Upon opening his eyes, instead of being met with a boat, he was met with the blue sky—dense forests and grassy plains lying far beneath. The rushing from earlier could still be heard, except now more distant than earlier, though the wind pushing against him came as consequence. His explorer’s hat was already gone. What was actually trying to disturb his rest this time?

From down beneath, it seemed. What did it happen to be?

...

Rocks, water, and not much else. Far, far beneath him. And the boat, flying away over the cliffside. He was falling down towards the same destination, but quite a distance away.

That was bad, wasn’t it?

Was it?

**Author's Note:**

> rip g ooey ????-now never forget


End file.
